I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
