I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize