my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Randomize
