Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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