eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Couch. On fire.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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