just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Randomize
