i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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