so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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