butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
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