U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
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