you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
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i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
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I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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