We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Randomize
