She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Randomize
