you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
