I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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