bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
