dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
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Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
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