Yo dont text me then not text me
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize