Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
