Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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