I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
