Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Randomize
