it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
