Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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