I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Randomize
