How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
you inspire me to be a worse person
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Randomize
