But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Send help, water and tortillas.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
