so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Randomize
