from now on my penis is your penis
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Randomize
