It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
