I met the friendliest cop last night
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
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