her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
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