I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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