Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
this is an emotional support booty call
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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