I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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