I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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