he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
