then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
from now on my penis is your penis
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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