Buhtt sex?
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
