Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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