I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
