I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
