You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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