As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Randomize
