I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Randomize
