so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
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