Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
