Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
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