if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Mom said you looked used
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
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