Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
