i'm signing you up for texting rehab
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Randomize
