Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
