And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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