I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I smell stomach acid.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even the bartender felt bad for me
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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