From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
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