I just found puke in my bra..
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
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