areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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