To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Porn is love you can see.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
