The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
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