I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
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