Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
