Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
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